Throwback photos to my time at the Romanian orphanage and the rare sight of me with hair. If you’ve read Awaken, this is the orphanage I wrote about. While it has a fairytale feel, the outcomes for disabled children there were more akin to a horror story. No pic of the mystical white horse, unfortunately. You’ll have to wait for another Earth Guardians book to learn more about him.
I’m sitting here writing to you, guilty of procrastination, stalling before I begin another edit of the 80,000 words I’ve just been through, while cutting hundreds of useless sentences in the hope I can still boost the word count nearer 90,000. I’m no stranger to procrastination; I told myself a hundred times I’d stop drinking or using drugs tomorrow, but kept putting it off. Editing can feel like I’m wading through a snow drift, getting nowhere, being blown backwards by gusts of wind when I read some total garbage I’ve written when I was probably too tired to be writing. I’m notorious for being hard on myself, and the biggest lessons recently have been about being kinder and compassionate towards myself. Will I get through the next edit? Of course I will. I recovered from drug addiction – I can weather any storm and get through anything. Amongst the garbage are words I read and think, ‘this is really good, who wrote it?’ because I sure don’t remember writing them. So I read between the lines and hear the message, that this is going to be good and I am going somewhere, because writing is my passion, my spirit, my quest. If I don’t believe in myself, there’s no point. Time to get on now; the story is calling me back again. Once more into the blizzard.
Writing is so much more than a vocation to me. It’s about deepening my relationship with Spirit by following signs and listening to the messages which weave the Earth Guardians series together.
Take this small piece of rare Blue Wind turquoise. I knew as soon as I held it three years ago that book three had been given to me – the stone became a seed.
The Twelve Winds is much the same thing. A rare book I managed to track down in Nova Scotia where the author lives, and the forthcoming vision quest will teach me more about the power of the coloured winds and their role in Aaron’s quest.
I wonder when Earth Guardians book four will begin to manifest.
A beautiful poem by Morgan Farley about the Vision Quest. It’s about two months away now, and yes… I am ready for whatever comes.
~ ~ ~
I am clearing a space
here, where the trees stand back.
I am making a circle so open
the moon will fall in love
and stroke these grasses with her silver.
I am setting stones in the four directions,
stones that have called my name
from mountaintops and riverbeds, canyons and mesas.
Here I will stand with my hands empty,
mind gaping under the moon.
I know there is another way to live.
When I find it, the angels
will cry out in rapture,
each cell of my body
will be a rose, a star.
If something seized my life tonight,
if a sudden wind swept through me,
I would not resist.
I am ready for whatever comes.
But I think it will be
something small, an animal
padding out from the shadows,
or a word spoken so softly
I hear it inside.
It is dark out here, and cold.
The moon is stone.
I am alone with my longing.
Nothing is happening
but the next breath.
I was talking to a friend recently about the journey I’m on, about the path I’ve chosen to follow. We talked about the bumps, twists and turns which have led me to this point. “Keep doing what you’re doing,” he said. Which is exactly what they told me in rehab. So I keep meditating, using the TM Siddhi programme as much as possible to smash stress to smithereens and make space for bliss to enter. I know it’s working because I feel it; this force supporting me. Nature’s natural inclination is to support us and TM helps me delve deep into The Mother herself.
Until today, I hadn’t felt the wave for a long time. I think music triggered it, I can’t say for sure. First, my eyes glazed over, then I bit my bottom lip as the tears welled and fell out of my eyes. I gasped, my breathing lost all rhythm and I just let go as I was overcome with love and gratitude for all that has passed, all that awaits, and all that is. It’s wash was fleeting, but its presence, everlasting.
I’d recognise that presence anywhere. Like the the first time it found me in Cape Town, holding me at rock-bottom, guiding me upwards to take flight.
Nearly there. Always believing.
I visited a Tintagel Island in the autumn, searching for the missing piece to Stag Rider. I wasn’t disappointed. Inspiration hit me as soon as I started meditating in Merlin’s Cave, and again as I reached the chapel ruins on the Island. It’s a spectacular stretch of coastline which is drawing me back for this summer’s vision quest.
Another research trip for Earth Guardians book three: Blue Wind, is now booked. During the powerful energy of the Autumn Equinox, a shaman, Prune Harris, will lead our small group to work with an immense Yang Portal energy housed within Orkney. “The vast portal has been building power since 2012. Gathering energy from the Earth (yin), it is nearly ready to be released in its Yang form. Imagine a vast column of energy forging its path to the heavens and into the multiverse. We are going to be working with this releasing yang energy to help balance and raise the consciousness of the Divine Masculine, especially as it relates to the human embodiment of the masculine. We (the ones of us who are currently alive and conscious) are the ones who will change that, and this work in Orkney is an important piece of empowerment, balancing and transformation. We do this work for ourselves, our ancestors, our descendants and all of Creation.” (Prune H.)
This is one of my encounters with Abraham Hicks, recorded a couple of years ago when Awaken was in its first draft stage. “Just follow the journey and see where it goes …” What a magical journey this is.